Reid’s Palace rolls out the luxurious red carpet for Alice Miles and four-year-old daughter Ellie – but some guests are not amused

“-“MUM,” said my daughter, Ellie, 20 minutes after arriving at Reid’s Palace, as she swam around a huge bath. “When I get out the bath I will want my dressing gown and slippers.” Reid’s has turned an ordinary four-year-old into a princess.

After more than a century of catering to elderly European royalty and dinner-jacketed statesmen, this staid old queen of the luxury market has cautiously opened its doors to families.

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Being Reid’s, it doesn’t stint on the little extras: children’s bathrobes, slippers, teddy bear soaps (and sweets), colouring pencils, and even a Reid’s teddy on the bed for younger customers.

That fact was made clear to me at breakfast on the first morning, in a stunningly bright and beautiful glass room, when I found that I was in possession of the only child in the hotel.

It was a bit like the scene in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when the children arrive in Vulgaria; a roomful of expensively made-up eyes turned on the child, faces registering at best surprise, at worst downright distaste.

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For those who really want their children to experience this sumptuous hotel, I would point out three things. First, the staff will do everything in their power to make you feel comfortable, and they told me there could be up to 40 children there during school holidays, which must change the hotel’s character considerably.

Secondly, Funchal, the town just below the hotel, has a vast range of child-friendly restaurants: try the Regional near the cable car for fish so fresh it was twitching on the ice, or Riso on a cliff top in the old town for traditional rice dishes. And, thirdly, Reid’s has one unique, to-die-for offer: the parent-and-child dual massage in the new candlelit spa, in a massage room with its own terrace and private hot tub overlooking a gently breaking sea.

I had a truly gorgeous treatment – and I’m a fussy customer – combining Thai massage with herbs and heat. I needn’t have feared how Ellie might disrupt it; she is her mother’s daughter. Ten minutes into the “Angel Bliss for Children” she was asleep, bum in the air, and stayed that way until the end, when she woke up protesting that it was boring. “It was a bit calm,” she tried to explain afterwards.

You see, if you do have a little princess, she will find all she needs at Reid’s. If, on the other hand, you have a bog-standard kid, they may find this grand old lady just a tad staid.”